Growth.

I would like to share with you something I wrote three years ago:

I have many fears in life.  Fear of rejection, being hurt, being inadequate, uncertainty, losing control, and getting hurt.

Sometimes I allow the fear to get the better of me.  I tend to overthink just about everything, and I have the ability (sometimes a curse) to pick up on micro-expressions and tiny inconsistencies in people’s behaviours. Consistency is the key to everything in life.

No one wants to experience fear but it’s a normal human emotion.  Fear is just a perceived danger, most of the time.  Don’t get me wrong, if someone is holding a gun to your head, that fear is real!

Through my experience, everything I have ever feared was never as bad as I anticipated it to be.  I am not sure where I would be right now if I had allowed the fear to control me, maybe curled up in a ball in a padded room…

I need to remind myself, constantly, that there is very little that I can control and put my trust in God.  I detest feeling uncertain about anything in life, but I need to put my trust in God.

I used to fear change tremendously.  Now I embrace it because I know that change equals growth.

Fear of rejection and getting hurt, well that is a different ball game.  I am terrified of both, especially when I have invested time in someone (friendship or intimate).  The memory of the raw hurt is unbearable.  It sucks the air out of my lungs.  My chest goes tight and hurts.  My stomach turns.  Anxiety comes to visit me.  Sweat glands go into overdrive.  It is completely consuming. BUT I haven’t lost faith in humanity or having a fantastic relationship with a great man, a relationship that I desire.  So, I need to push these fears aside and be willing to take a risk, again.

We need to have someone that we trust, to verbalise our fears.  Someone who will listen and be our sounding board.  Unfortunately, most people respond to others’ fears with ridicule and would probably use it against them in the future.

It is really challenging to find people one can fully trust.  I am fortunate that I have 3 people I trust, and know, without a doubt, that they will listen and never use it against me.

Life is hard enough as it is, why choose to live in fear? 

Facing your fear(s) is difficult, and can drain you, physically and emotionally BUT the rewards far exceed staying where you are.

REMEMBER: Where Attention goes Energy flows

I am still a work in progress.

It was great to read this!  It has shown me how far I have come in three years.  I hardly ever take time to reflect on where I was, what I have managed to learn or overcome. When last did you reflect on your life?

Fear is a big topic.  It is difficult to overcome but I know that I serve a living God who can deal with anything, so take your fears to Him.  He understands and He will help you.

I refuse to live in fear but there are times when it creeps in.  And when that happens, I immediately remind myself that God is on my side.

This last month has been challenging for me – family, friends, work, church – you name it.  It made me tired, I was fed up, I just wanted it to end.  I prayed and prayed.  I asked God what the lesson is, what am I missing.  Turns out, I was missing the blessing right under my nose because my focus was on things it shouldn’t be.  I was reminded (again) that I need shift my focus, I need to focus on God, and His blessings in my life, daily.

There are very few things we can control in life, and perhaps we need to focus on what we can control – our emotions and thoughts – and choose to focus on the good in our lives.

Again, where focus goes energy flows.  Try it, you will be surprised.

Keeping it simply raw & real

Your sister in Christ, still a work in progress

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You.