Wellington, Cape Town
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Beauty in brokenness.

Beauty in brokenness.

There is such beauty in brokenness.

A few weeks ago on a Wednesday evening (26/01/22), I reached a breaking point.  There is no way to describe how I was feeling other than broken.  I did not know how to move forward, how to look my child in her eyes, or how to make a change. 

This happened when I received a message at 17h00.  Any other day this message wouldn’t have done much to me, but because I have been going through so much the last 6 months, it was the cherry on top. (God came through for that evening at 20h00 making the message I received nothing)

I stood in my kitchen crying out to God, WHY? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? WHAT MUST I CHANGE? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

I couldn’t see past my tears, tears of brokenness, despair, and hopelessness.  Trying to keep it together for my daughter for the few hours before her bedtime. 

God picked up the pieces.  The pieces of my broken heart, broken hope, just all of my brokenness.

I had to speak to someone.  Someone I trusted, someone that could pray for me, someone who could try to understand, and show compassion.

That is what I got.  I spoke to a few friends that night, and all I felt from them was love.  It was beautiful.  The following morning another friend helped me.

Thursday evening I found myself being grateful for what had happened on Wednesday evening.

Grateful that God allowed me to reach such a low point because He could show His love and compassion to me by helping me, by showing me that I am blessed with 4 friends who really love me and don’t judge me, and that I was able to realise I had a breakdown.

This gave me the freedom to acknowledge what I have been going through, to accept it, and to work on the healing process.

And even though the healing process will take some time, I know that God will be with me every step of the way, helping me, and giving me the strength I need to face my issues and not continue to sweep them under the rug.

A week later after my breakdown, God needed me to apologise to 2 individuals.  I was surprised, to say the least.  These were 2 people I wanted to talk to and tell them how much they had hurt me, and how they were adding to my everyday stress. I remember saying to God, “Okay, I will apologise, but on WhatsApp.”

Well, God wasn’t having that.  I saw these 2 people about an hour later and asked to speak to them.  I apologised, and at that moment I could feel the chains being broken. Talking about being led by the Holy Spirit. 

Can you imagine how amazingly awe-inspiring our lives would be if we only listened and submitted to God?

Sometimes we need to crack to let in the light,  but He will be glorified for He uses our brokenness to create something more beautiful than we could ever imagine.

Keeping it simply raw & real.

Your sister in Christ.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 

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