I contemplated writing about this a few weeks ago but decided against it because of how people will interpret it. The scenario has however intensified and I feel even stronger to write about it.
After my breakdown in January, God was so gentle with me. It was beautiful to experience. He gave me one issue to deal with at a time. Unfortunately, this only lasted two months. He then decided I needed to, or perhaps could, deal with more heavy issues.
I write this not to get pity or to cause strife, but with the hope that if you find someone in my position, you will be able to better serve them.
When you hear the word support, what is the first thought that comes to mind? I bet it is financial. Unfortunately, most people think like that and it is sad.
There is a thing called emotional support.
So, what is emotional support?
Emotional support is an intentional verbal and nonverbal way to show care and affection for one another. By providing emotional support to another person, you offer them reassurance, acceptance, encouragement, and caring, making them feel valued and important (Burleson, 2003)
That doesn’t sound difficult, right? Well, you would be wrong. I am convinced it is harder than rocket science.
And then people ask what support I would like?!?!? How authentic would their support be then???
It hurts a lot. It hurts because my family has never supported me. When I have said I want emotional support, you would have sworn I asked them to commit a crime. They, along with a few others, have told me numerous times to ‘get a job’… not sure what century or country they are living in but are they not aware of our economic environment and unemployment rate? Why can they just not support what I do? Do they even understand what a difference it would make? I don’t have to worry about them reading this, because, again, no support for anything I do.
Then the church. Flip, I understand all too well why people don’t want to attend church, not trying to justify their actions, but I don’t judge them. I sometimes wonder if I am too poor, ugly, fat, and hard-headed for the church, or anyone, to support and love, or perhaps it’s because I am a single mom… As mentioned in a previous blog, I love the elderly and really want to help them. My church is filled with the elderly and I honestly believed (I still do) that there are individuals who could do with some company or help. I approached the church about this – a complete waste of time. I told them I would like to help out within the church – a complete waste of time. I tell them about the guest blog space I created – a complete waste of time.
I have approached two counsellors recently, but both not caring enough to take me seriously. Do they not know what counsellors are meant to do/be???? I love counselling and if I could go weekly I would, I wish everyone would – the world would be a better place. So, here’s to hoping I find a great counsellor, soon.
I have lost count of how many people have said to me “Keep your eyes fixed on God” Oh my word! Take that Bible you are bashing over my head to make yourself feel better for ignoring me and turning a blind eye, and bash it over your head and be sure to not miss the parts where God tells us to encourage each other, to carry each other’s burdens, to help each other, to love each other.
Here are a few scriptures below, there are so many.
Hebrews 10:24 – And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works
Hebrews 3:13 – But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Galatians 6:2 – Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Romans 12:10 – Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
John 15:12 – “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
Philippians 2:4 – Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
People are quick to go preach to the homeless, who most of the time are happy to be where they are at, but a single mom who is trying really hard to not be a burden on society is cast aside, ignored.
People are quick to run to the prisoners to save them, they are in prison for a reason (don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the prison ministry and love hearing the testimonies), but a single mom who is trying really hard to not be a burden on society is cast aside, ignored.
People are quick to help a druggie get his next fix, but a single mom who is trying really hard to not be a burden on society is cast aside, ignored.
People telling me to not worry about support from people are the same people who are surrounded by family. I bet not one of them could be in my position very long.
If I were to commit suicide I do not doubt that every single person I know would say “Why didn’t she just reach out?” How on earth am I supposed to reach out any more than I am now??? Radio announcement? Skywriting?
So next time you encounter someone, or perhaps you know of someone now, that is reaching out, please don’t ignore them or marginalize them. Their situation or emotions might not seem important to you, or you may not fully understand them but all you are required to do is listen. Do you have any idea how much it means to someone who is struggling to have someone just listen? To receive a random text message asking how they are doing or how is work or how is their project going? Or popping in for a quick visit? How much effort does any of this require…
Yes, I am angry and I am hurt. I have no idea how to deal with it but know there is a lesson to be learned, God wouldn’t be wasting His valuable time if it wasn’t, I just wish it was over and done with.
I hope that you get the message I intended you would. A message that support is needed, and that support doesn’t cost you anything but could mean the world to someone, and perhaps save their life. And instead of telling people to fix their eyes on God, just be Jesus in their life.
If there is anyone needing support, you are welcome to reach out to me, I am far from perfect but authentic, and love God a whole lot.
Keeping it simply raw & real.
Your sister in Christ.
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.