Wellington, Cape Town

Comfort vs. Character

Comfort vs. Character

I started writing this blog a month ago with the intention of sharing it but life happened.  I like to start writing and then come back to it to make sure it is good enough to share, that it has some meaning, and makes sense but that process is usually a few days…not weeks.

Perhaps I wasn’t meant to share it at the time but I will share what I wrote below and add a few extra things here. 

A few weeks ago, our sermon was about bondage which I feel is similar to what I wrote about but it has helped me to change my prayers.  I think we have more bondage in our lives than we would like to admit to, or perhaps are even aware of. There are certain bondages in my life that I am aware of, and others I am sure I have no idea about, but I am ready to continuously change my story because God’s got this!

Here is the original blog:

This blog was intended for authenticity.  For the real-life of a believer, not for the fluffy things, many unbelievers think a Christian life should be, so I need to keep it that way – for God’s glory.

For quite some time now, I have been questioning why God brought me to Wellington, even though He had answered a lot of prayers.  I felt stuck, alone, with no friends around, not knowing what to do.  A few months ago, I remember saying that if the only reason I am here is for my daughters’ school (which in itself is a blessing), then I am okay with it.

I have been harping on about not getting the emotional support I believe we should be giving each other as children of God.  As I said in my last blog, everyone would tell me to keep my eyes fixed on God and walk away, when He also wants us to be there for each other.

A few weeks ago, I was sick for about 10 days – it was horrible and felt like an eternity BUT I am now grateful for that because it helped get me out of my head space. I have come to realise, again, that I needed to shift my focus – which one would think I would do sooner since it has been a theme in my life for some time now. 

God is more interested in my character than my comfort.

I have now realised that being where I am, my relationship with God has increased tremendously.  Being alone in my struggles has helped me to lean on and rely on God more (even though I do want emotional support from my friends…) He has brought the most amazing Christians into my life so they can help me, and teach me.

BUT I had to let go of my story.

My story of “I am alone”, “Nobody cares”, and “I struggle”.  Now, this doesn’t happen overnight, and I am sure my human side will bring these up again, but the freedom I have experienced is beautiful.

I had to swallow my pride, realise what I was doing wrong, and let go.

The last 2 years have been challenging.  Being alone, and getting to know a new town, and new people but it has helped build my character. 

In hindsight, I was fixing my identity to who I am, instead of who God says I am.  I found my identity in being a single mom, in being alone, in having no friends.  How sad is that?!?! And this even after working on my identity in Christ last year.  I need constant reminders.

None of this is easy, and it is something that I will need to actively work on.  And that is okay, God’s got this, He just needed me to realise, and accept it.


Too many people would rather stay in their story than start a new book.

Why?  I think there are several reasons, like; comfort, pity, laziness, and more.  It takes courage to change your mindset. 

What would happen if you changed your story?  What are you afraid of?

We can’t go through life with a victim mentality, it will get us nowhere.

Don’t let your struggle become your identity. Go on the journey to find your identity in Christ.  It is hard, challenging, and sometimes frustrating, but worth it.

I am so grateful for my struggles, for my life, for my circumstances.  They have allowed me more freedom than most people have, and have helped shape my character. There are times when my mind wanders to the future and I am consumed with anxiety, but I simply remind myself that God’s got this, and there is absolutely no point in worrying about the future.

Would I love to have an easier life? Of course, I would! But would it have brought me closer to God as my struggles have? Not likely.


Keeping it simply raw & real.

Your sister in Christ.

Galatians 5:1-3

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.


Comments: 1

  1. Christine says:

    “Don’t let your struggle become your identity.” Such powerful words! Wow.

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